From Crip to Muslim: Who Profits When Black Men Gang-Bang?
This is an excerpt from Abdul Hadi’s new book, Who Profits When Black Men Gang-Bang by Abdul Hadi. It can be purchased on Amazon.com.
Twelve years ago from the date this was written, I was a straight up ‘nigga.’ My identity was Crip. I was willing to sacrifice my body and soul for my gang. Being Crip is what gave me purpose, pride, and clout. However, I would discover that this was all empty. My devotion to this gang led me to do things that would eventually land me in Rikers Island (America’s most notorious jail) as I was charged with attempted murder and illegal possession of a firearm. It is during this trying ordeal that I came to believe in miracles. I became a miracle. Allah found me in the depths of that Rikers’s jail cell and made me a Muslim. When Islam entered my soul it was as if light penetrated a concrete wall. As a result, I am no longer a Crip.
Instead, I am part of the Ummah of Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him. Since setting my foot on the straight path of Islam, my mind and heart have become renewed. I am now as wise as I was once aggressive. I understand where I once misunderstood. I have garnered a greater awareness about the reality and deceptions of gang life that many of our Black youth are pulled into. This book was written for Black youth who may be enamored by the lifestyle that I once lived. You’ve heard the saying ‘Experience is the best teacher.’ The truth is that sometimes the best lessons come from someone else’s experience. I pray that my experience softens the hard hearts so that light can enter and allow you to find your way out of the dark.
In the Qu’ran, Surah 57 Ayat 20, we are taught that the life of this world is but play and amusement, pomp and mutual boasting and multiplying, (in rivalry) among yourselves, riches and children. Here is a similitude: How rain and the growth which it brings forth, delight (the hearts of) the tillers; soon it withers; thou wilt see it grow yellow; then it becomes dry and crumbles away.” Destroying yourself and your neighborhood for money and clout is like running in place. You’re going nowhere. Movement is not progress. Only movement in the right direction. In the Qu’ran we are taught that “Every soul will taste death, and you will only be given your [full] compensation on the Day of Resurrection. So he who is drawn away from the Fire and admitted to Paradise has attained [his desire]. And what is the life of this world except the enjoyment of delusion.” (Quran 3:185).
As a kid in the hood I saw how we’d always strive to be ‘real niggas.’ I remember as a shorty on the block, one of my homies had got stabbed, but we gave him props for being a real nigga and repping the Crips. Anytime a brother got locked up we would celebrate them for being ‘real niggas.” It’s interesting because the system also celebrated their incarceration also. In actuality we were celebrating the same thing the white oppressive system was celebrating. How much of our “culture” is actually white supremacy?
When I was younger 50 Cent was my favorite rapper. He used to always rap about getting shot nine times, not walking with a limp and I remember looking up to him thinking to myself “he’s a real nigga.” He had the streets on lock when he dropped Get Rich or Die Trying. 50 Cent reinforced our belief that giving up your life for a lifestyle that was created as just “play and amusement,” “pomp and mutual boasting,” , “multiplying in rivalry” has left many buried dead in the grave or in buried alive prison. This is what came with being a “real nigga.”
What does it mean to be a “real nigga”? It means never allowing even the slightest bit of disrespect on your name to occur. For those of us in the ghetto, all we have to cherish is ‘respect in the hood.’ This respect is based on having money, getting girls, and our ability to use violence if our reputation is threatened. We see the rappers glorify being ‘real niggas.” A lot of the diss tracks these rappers trade back and forth are centered around showing the listener how their ops aren’t ‘real niggas’ and how they are indeed the ‘real niggas.’
Ask yourselves these questions: With all the gangbanging and dope selling that we have done, why are our neighborhoods still poor? Are our families straight? Where is the old gangbanger who retired with a pile of money? Where are the better schools, houses, and hospitals that were built from us selling drugs? Who has really benefited from us being a “real nigga?” The KKK killed black people and shouted “nigger” while they were doing it. But black gangs do the same. How many black people do you know were killed by the Klan compared to those of us in the neighborhood who look like us? The Klan is a mentality that lives in black people throughout the inner cities. The white hoods are replaced with fitted hats and bandanas.
Believing in the hereafter is the only way to see past what you’re struggling with right now. It causes you to see everything you do as having a long-term effect. In this life and the next. You pay more attention to your actions, your words, and even your thoughts. You stop trying to impress people who are lost and don’t know the meaning of life. The “real nigga” persona is really just a mirror reflection of all that is wrong about the white man’s world. It is not what we brought with us from Africa and it is not what Allah created us to be. It was created here and by our oppressors. God made black people. The white man made niggas.
When we black males seek power in violence, it makes us feel like we are in control. When I was in the streets we always talked about killing opps. Riding on the enemy. Our music glorifies this. “Ride on an opp’ and then smoke’ em.” We ride around listening to songs about killing each other.
